I really confuse myself. On a regular basis. And frustrate myself. Sometimes I feel as if I do not know this other person that does these things.
Like decide that wow, it is a really beautiful afternoon. Perfect for a run, or a long walk, or some yoga on the lawn, and certainly some meditation and probably the art projects I have sitting in the living room.
And then as soon as I walk in the door I decide that instead of all that, I am going to make myself a drink, which turns into three, and pan-fry chicken pieces, and sit and watch television for the rest of the night.
But- don’t worry – I did take a break from a Bones marathon to turn on some Exercise TV and did two short yoga segments, isolating my abs, and my glutes. So I did keep up with the challenge (go me) but also…. The second two drinks and second two hours of television really were unnecessary.
Why is it so hard for me to NOT do this all the time?
So, because I let myself do this last night, today has been one of those days that has been pretty busy and everything goes really well – up until it doesn’t. It’s okay though, I’m taking mom to yoga again tonight. And tomorrow I get paid, which means I can buy food. Which is a really good thing.
Also I am trying really hard not to worry about not having any tutoring lined up – because when I do worry about it, it devolves into anxiety about not paying off anything needless to say not saving anything, and then not being able to go on any of the trips I have planned, and basically feeling like a terrible girlfriend and a terrible, scared, stuck person. So I try not to worry about it. Which is why I need to start running again. My goal is Monday. Wish me luck.
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