30 Day Yoga Challenge Day 22

I’ve been wondering what has been “off” about my life lately (I mean, apart from the obvious “Summer of Death” that has occurred, visitors in my house and boyfriend going missing across the continent for a month), or at least how I have been living it. By “off” I mean that there is some interruption that has interfered, causing me to approach my day different, dismiss exercise easily, ignore preparing food, erasing creativity. And, I know it is not uncommon for an answer to be “well, sometimes you get tired of things, or your day is off” etc. but I know that there is something different.

I realized all of this today when I walked into the office kitchen and smelled something wonderful. I stopped and realized it was eggs. And then I realized what was off – my mornings! I have been realizing that I have too much time in the morning now that I am not running in them and I wake up at six, because I like to, but then I have two hours of nothing, so I go back to sleep. And this screws up my whole day. I do so love breakfast, and reading in the morning -but not on my computer. Perhaps I will find some newspaper to subscribe (prescribe  ) to, and begin making breakfast at home again. I will find a coffee pot, or breakfast tea, and make eggs and spinach and fruit in the morning, or oatmeal. And then I will have the motivation to get up, and do yoga, and have a day full of inspiration and movement. This seems especially important now that the sun comes up so late. Thus begins “Operation Take Back My Morning!” Leading, hopefully, to “Mission: Take Back My Day”, where I will incorporate real-life running training, and goal setting, and actual productive work (sounds cool, right?!).

So, Step One: Buy breakfast groceries. Step Two: Sign up for Half Marathon. Step Three: Find Newspaper to subscribe to. Mix together, and enjoy!

Yesterday was a bad day – I was so, so tired. Grieving is exhausting. It began on the metro home, and by the time I was walking home I was a wreck, upset at every one, and on the phone with my mom complaining about things I should never complain about, like friends and selfish things. So, no yoga except for the practice of deep breathing and ice cream eating and wine drinking for me last night. Today, will be a class day, I promise to myself and to you. I was thinking about why it was so important to me to accomplish those advanced postures I told you about yesterday, realizing I sound like a “young yogi” who wants to do advanced asanas for the hell of it. And yes, its true that it feels cool to know I can do those things, but most importantly it speaks to growth. I have been practicing yoga for five years now, and sometimes it feels like a losing battle (like all of my efforts are going to keeping me in place instead of moving quickly backwards). But knowing that I have, in my life, the ability to invert myself and observe everything from the opposite perspective both physically and emotionally, and that I can bend over backwards to bring a fresh rush of energy to my life, is a testament to just how hard I have worked to get where I am. Etc. QED. And all that.