I attended the funeral of the mother of a good friend from high school on Friday. And when I say this was a hard thing to do, I mean perhaps so hard that it has changed my worldview a few percentage points. This friend consistently impresses me with her strength and originality, and the details of her life are as rich and remarkable as only one in a dreamt life could be, except she and her life are real, and I am inspired by it. Hearing her talk about watching her mother die, and watching her hold together the entire service and reception, while knowing that parents had dated since they were twelve and had the kind of love that fairy tales are written about, my core was rattled. I could make no decisions for hours, I could not even prioritize when to eat, when to sleep, what to do, who to talk to. I cried for the ride up to Annapolis because, when it comes down to it, what else was there to do but run for safety, except cower in my bed at home. I cried when seeing the effluvium of happiness of the family I walked into, and I cried when I realized the beauty of it all.
The next day I attended a baby shower for a friend who literally radiated peace and sparkles with joy. A room of fifty women and coordinated plates-balloons-cupcakes-doilies- and two hours of pink frilly baby dresses where wholly overwhelming, and I left with more than a gentle ringing in my head that I have SO MUCH TIME before I am ready for a child. And Sunday I went to the birthday party for a pair of five year olds I used to babysit, and sat watching their gymnastics with a friend, chatting about life and love and running.
The world goes on, and on, and never stops – as I grow I am more in awes of humanity. It seems in a way that, since tragedy occurs so commonly, since parents of good people die and siblings have heart attacks regularly, perhaps it is not so difficult. Yet as you experience some of this the question is turned from the observation of the mundane into one of extreme strength, perhaps instead, as humans, we are just that powerful? It is truly a shake in the face of the fact that our physical bodies are so weak that our spirits can withstand, endure, and rise above death to experience the radiance of new life and energy. We can wake up one morning and instead of crying over our parents’ passing, we can see in our friends the gifts they have left for us to observe.
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