This week of my life SO does not count.

This week of my life SO does not count. At all. I have been staying up late drinking wine, eating hot dogs for breakfast, I hadn’t even unpacked until Monday night. I saw two great old friends of mine – apart from the croquet madness – and went out for my first run since the marathon yesterday (five miles- slightly sluggish but pretty effing awesome otherwise. I have never been on a run where it was so EASY, like moving forward in a run was just like breathing.)

I am SO TIRED. And hungry. I have let myself eat ANYTHING I WANT all week – which includes, as said, hot dogs for breakfast and two pieces of cheesecake for lunch, and half a pizza for dinner. And a sleeve of ritz crackers for a snack, etc. I just have no energy to think about things like food, or moving. I just want to sit and watch television and drink my wine (wait – how is that different than normal? Oh right, its not. I’m a lazy ass. whatevs). However, I have written out for myself a new diet-thing for next week and a whole new training plan which I have decided not to reveal to anyone as a change of course.

For the first time that I remember in my life, I have been eating what I want and gaining weight and NOT CARING AT ALL. Like, I mean, at all. Not one ounce. Not one thought against “and… I rule”. The extreme pride from finishing that damn race has self-approval running all through my veins. I will extrapolate on how wonderful I feel from this accomplishment at another time, since it is still sinking in.

I am excited about this diet – now, you may be wondering “dieting, annelies, really? You don’t need to. They don’t work. These diets are so against all sensible eating habits and its bad”. Here are my responses, in order: “I know I don’t need to. I’m not doing it to lose weight cuz there’s no weight I need to lose. I am, however, FASCINATED with structured diets. I can’t figure out what works for me if I don’t try different combinations. The direct relationship between food and performance and energy and happiness is worth experimentation to me, and since I know what is good and what is bad, it is a calculated risk.” I am excited. Lots of protein. Lots of vegetables. Quite the opposite from my vegan experiment a few years ago. Even though I felt the best while vegan, it was so much energy going into figuring out what I was going to eat that it became unrealistic in a world where I was working 70+ hours a week. Someday I would love to reconsider it, but I don’t believe the boyfriend would go for it. Also, I think eating locally and more farm-based is healthier anyway.

Whatevs. Off to Florida this weekend for a “vacation from my vacation” which is greatly needed. The European adventure certainly was NOT relaxing. But a wedding and a sand and sun and warmth and family is AWESOME. I will cry a lot. I cry at weddings. I also cry a lot when I’m with the boyfriends’ family because they are so awesome and happy and I get overwhelmed with happy. Is that weird?