Writing and a Wedding and No More Pizza

What I really feel I need to do right now is respond to the roommate’s blog post.
I am super excited – yes, about her feeling optimistic, but more so because of her recent discovery of skill.

Some background – I worked for lululemon, a notorious company renowned for their goal-setting and motivational resources for employees. One of the concepts we were encouraged to discover was called the “Hedgehog” concept, named after a story in one the several books we were expected to read. This concept relays how the hedgehog, a supposedly slow and relatively dull animal, is regularly chased by the fox, a quick and sly one. The hedgehog always gets away because as soon as the fox darts from a new angle, the hedgehog curls up in its spiny ball and remains impenetrable. Even though the fox could continuously come up with new and inventive ways of striking at the hedgehog, the small animal knew exactly what it could do and stuck to that. The idea being that if you know what you are best in the world at, you can outwit anybody else who tries every other project. And, for the record, being “best in the world” at something, does NOT mean that nobody else is better than you at that thing, it means it is what you are best at over all other things.

The greater principle can be seen in a Venn Diagram, a composition of what you do best in the world, how you are going to get your money, and what you are passionate about. Here, the small interconnected area is supposed to be how you will exceed in life doing what you love to do. This is supposed to be a concept that takes a very very long time to lock down, as we can be good at very many things but excellent at very few. It supposedly took many years for lululemon’s founder Chip to discover his hedgehog.

I adore motivational literature, and efficiency theories and stuff like ted talks and “getting things done” etc., so I tried to spend a lot of time figuring this out. I am utterly stymied, though, by all of the aspects. What in the world am I really passionate about? What am I best in the world at? How in the dear melting earth am I going to make money off of this??
Here, my friends, is the source of all my inner quests in the last year or so.

And here, my friends, I see my roommate moving ever so elegantly closer towards figuring out her hedgehog. She now has at least one thing down: she is best in the world at creative nonfiction. I applaud her, and envy her, and hope I don’t throw more pastries in our kitchen in sheer frustration (just joking!).

And no, I truly believe that we must work on what we are not so good at in order to make ourselves stronger people. But let’s be honest. None of us are going to make millions off of something we don’t do well. There is no way in hell I will earn my fortune debating physics, or playing chess, or modeling (food is necessary).

On another note, the wedding is this weekend! I am taking my camera, and its charger, and promise to upload many many photos of our dear friends tying the knot under Vermont leaves and the eyes of other dear friends (and many awkward and not so dear ones as well). I am uber excited, and feel very strong and confident about the whole mess of a weekend. No, I have not yet written my speech, and who cares? I have 44 hours!

The rough plan is the following:
Read some of Diotima’s speech from the Symposium on how love is the child of resource and need. Read a sufi poem from Rumi full of odd images of love (such as, “who knew a mirror lay beneath the mud and dirt, but wipe away the mud and you just may find a mirror”, complete with wine references). The idea being that many of these images are so very true to my belief of marriage – that it is not “the next logical step” of two people desperately in love, but a contract towards a satisfying life, a compromise, a promise, a journey, and you must identify and love all the bad things in it to get the most out of the situation. Somehow, I will write something thrilling and beautiful and touching about resource and need producing mud and mirrors and wine, and that will be that!
Somehow, I am not worried. I seem to write my most personable pieces under pressure, and my most academic ones far in the future. Let us not forget my caritas speech that I wrote one week ahead of time (too close for my college nerves) and had people crying. I digress.

Also, I am clearly more stressed than I would like to believe, as I have acquired a new physical ailment due to this whole minister-danny-is-dead-i-have-no-money issue that is my life right now. I am grinding my teeth, producing a major pain in my shoulder, and headaches, and many other grievances I will not bore you with. Also I have figured out the true core of my fascination with the marriage topic lately, and while it has a lot to do with schuyler and Julia, it also has a lot to do with danny himself and our own relationship. Interesting, right? I thought so.