Friday, April 30, 2010

Things i love right now

Mushroom tarts
Pomegranate
Rich cheeses
Small pieces of asparagus
Salmon with capers
Deep curried lentils
Home made gingerale
Squash pancakes
Home made breads
Pieces of blood orange
Fresh berries
Scents of lemon and bergamot
Tomato salsa and guacamole
Homemade sweet potato chips
Bourbon chocolate pudding
Hummus
Turkey meat balls cooked in tomatoes
Jasmine rice with turmeric
Lightly salted cooked lima beans with mint
Beef kebobs
Bright beers
Well mashed potatoes with garlic
Fresh toast

Fav person

We have a client who is a favorite person of mine. He is older than middle aged, getting close to 70 years old. He has white hair and an incredible history of perseverance. He was a refugee of his home country in the Middle East, one son among about twelve children left to find their way in warring countries. He learned economics and architecture and business and built an empire from the ground up based on lucky real estate investments at the height of the Middle Eastern oil boom. He was an infamous bachelor with a hard party lifestyle. And then, at 65, he met a beautiful American woman who was around 30 years old. They married, and within five years he had five children – two kids and a set of triplets. Now he spends his time moving back and forth from Costa Rica, London, France, and the US so that he does not have to pay taxes here. He calls frequently to chat with my boss, and speaks in a long drawl of well thought out sentences peppered with a laugh just behind the words. He walks slowly and often, and when he visits, such as now, he takes my boss away for several hour long lunches and stops by for a three hour visit. He likes to chat.

My point, my friends, is that his cell phone just rang. The ringer was a rap song. He is a favorite person of mine.

Alcohol melts worries like plastic

I spent most of yesterday writing a series of posts on how to Transform yourself. Basically, it was about how to sit down and look at yourself critically in order to figure out who you are and where you want to go in life. Since it is spring, I have been feeling the need to clean. This includes character cleaning. What habits do I hate? What am I great at? Who do I want to be?

So this was a four-post series, with instructions on how to do charts and things like that. I even drew up my own charts that I was planning on scanning for both instructional purposes and for the sake of endless self displaying.

However, my good friend J came in from Annapolis and took me out of work and we went to happy hour. We began the evening lamenting the economy, how we feel we stuck and going nowhere. We spoke about how we feel we are wasting our time, how we are accomplishing nothing in our lives right now. Then we ordered another drink. And another. Then her boyfriend showed up and my roommate showed up and the night really began. We ordered more drinks. And some food. And more drinks. And dessert. The bill was astronomical, which is hilarious as we went to this restaurant because it was cheap. It was also hilarious because of the previous conversation that also mentioned how broke we are. And when I say hilarious, I am not being sarcastic. I am still laughing.

Well, in the course of this evening we joked, we laughed. I threw hot sauce on J’s boyfriend and gave him a rash and a stained shirt. You know, the usual. We were given a free tiramisu (It was huge) because the restaurant is full of nice waiters and there were few other people around and they find it hilarious when I go there and get smashed, which happens with my mother quite a bit. J and I made friends with a homeless man. We had a lot of trouble doing the math on our bill. We loved our waitress.

On the way home I had a bunch of word vomit to my roommate about nonsense regarding Transformation and self awareness and sticking up for yourself and all that jazz. It would have been wonderful to see a video of me stopping her in the middle of the road and shaking her shoulders and proclaiming things such as “You MUST figure out WHO you ARE in your life! You MUST be STRONG! You MUST LOVE YOURSELF”.

We got home at a time that is relatively early compared to my new standard of 12:30 am. So I went through all the clothes the roommate is throwing out, opened a few beers, and proceeded to watch Glee on the computer until 12 AM. At this point I did a lot of facebook perusing, and had an emotional breakdown. I called a bunch of my west coast friends that I never talk to because of the time difference, but they did not pick up. I had some kind of crisis of faith in relation to how I approach love in my life, and what I am doing with my magical boyfriend, and the future, and all that one worries about when tired and really quite drunk.

I was miserable! I almost cried myself to sleep. I spilled candle wax all over the floor, and my bathrobe (long story. It was an accident). I woke up, realized I was probably still a little drunk but felt great anyway.

And what I mean by great, is GREAT. Seriously I have not owned this much confidence in myself, ever. I feel right now the way that I always assumed that the models in magazines with the perfect hair and clothes, the women walking down the street in power suits with great big smiles and paychecks, the really thin girls with the effortlessly chic wardrobes, all of them, feel. I feel right now the way I always expected to feel if only I lost ten pounds, or had a few extra dollars to buy those new jeans, or made more money, or was more successful. It is as if, for once, I am truly whole.

The worries about my relationship as it relates to myself? Gone. Feeling like I should lose weight? Gone. Thinking that perhaps my wardrobe is outdated, or that I do not go on enough fantastic vacations, or that I am not productive enough in my hobbies? All gone.

The sun is out, I have a great cup of tea in front of me (and a mostly eaten bag of the ridiculously addictive salty-and-sweet popcorn I found at CVS that will be the death of me), I will go hiking this weekend. I will no longer post the long diatribe about self-discovery. My advice: go get really drunk with good friends, spend all your money, be silly and loud and concerned, worry everything out of your system. Maybe cry yourself to sleep. And when you wake up, all the alcohol will have melted away those worries like acid through plastic.

I am perfectly, one hundred-percent, absolutely content. This, my friends, is what true joy feels like!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Running makes me a terrible friend

A few new advancements in my life:
(you know, because it’s not busy enough)

I have picked up a second job at a Saxby’s coffee shop in Georgetown. I work with a bunch of girls, some GTown students/alumns, some not, but all really pretty cool and either working or studying full time like me. I serve coffee to a bunch of overly coordinated girls who look grossed out by the world and overly pretty boys who look like the world is sitting on their bed with its legs open. There are some cool people I serve coffee to. We have a fro-yo machine that is really tasty. And I don’t have to say words like “grande” or “frappuccino”, but I do have to say “fro-yo” and “fro-latte”.

I have decided that running makes me a bad girlfriend. While it amps up my confidence in some ways, it also shortens my muscles a lot. This means that I am holding all negative feelings deep inside these muscles until I can’t handle it anymore. Also, when I am not running, I feel bad that I am not dedicated enough and I have too much energy and become very very annoying. So, running basically turns me into an obnoxiously peppy yet very afraid and untrusting person that gets really annoyed by other people and complains a lot. This is compared to me with a regular yoga practice, that takes all these fears that I recognize from my muscles and acknowledge them, becoming less energetic but nicer and happier. Think about it: me last spring/summer with a daily yoga practice (freak-outs: zero), and me this spring no yoga but regular running (Freak-outs: a bazillion). And this takes into account that there is an equal number of things to freak out about this year as there were last year. QED.

So, taking into account the fact that I now work 60 hours a week and will become more and more sleep deprived, as well as the fact that I have placed my otherwise solid relationship in total jeopardy (JK!! We’re still great. I’ve just been pretty terribly obnoxious lately), I am placing my intense ultra-marathon plans on the sidelines and reverting to my original plan for after the marathon to focus on yoga.

This should make me a happier person. Now I just have to figure out how to repair the damage I have made by being an insane girlfriend and a constantly complaining friend. Anybody for home-made bath salts? How about a big baking party at my house?

Monday, April 26, 2010

New Goal Questions

So, I have many options.
First, i thought I could try for a mid-june half mary and PR at sub 2:00 (the idea being that 7 weeks is enough time to cut my time down that low with my current running level)
Second, I realized there is the Baltimore Festival in October (Marine Corps is closed, BOO) which gives me MUCHO time for marathon training #2.
Third, I have a second job, which gives me LESS TIME to train. So, instead of combining options First AND Second, I could run the 1st 1/2 Mary for a base, and go for a BQ at the B-More 1/2, and wait for next year to do another Full.

Fourth, Tahoe has a 3 Mary WEEKEND around September. I'm thinking - a Triple Mary for 2011? That would push me into Ultra category, which is pretty cool, but doable? Maybe.

See, none of these goals really are that ridiculous, the question is just how DEDICATED I want to be with the whole 6-am 8-mile run thing.
I'm trying it out this week. I'll keep you updated.

Friday, April 23, 2010

This week of my life SO does not count.

This week of my life SO does not count. At all. I have been staying up late drinking wine, eating hot dogs for breakfast, I hadn’t even unpacked until Monday night. I saw two great old friends of mine – apart from the croquet madness – and went out for my first run since the marathon yesterday (five miles- slightly sluggish but pretty effing awesome otherwise. I have never been on a run where it was so EASY, like moving forward in a run was just like breathing.)

I am SO TIRED. And hungry. I have let myself eat ANYTHING I WANT all week – which includes, as said, hot dogs for breakfast and two pieces of cheesecake for lunch, and half a pizza for dinner. And a sleeve of ritz crackers for a snack, etc. I just have no energy to think about things like food, or moving. I just want to sit and watch television and drink my wine (wait – how is that different than normal? Oh right, its not. I’m a lazy ass. whatevs). However, I have written out for myself a new diet-thing for next week and a whole new training plan which I have decided not to reveal to anyone as a change of course.

For the first time that I remember in my life, I have been eating what I want and gaining weight and NOT CARING AT ALL. Like, I mean, at all. Not one ounce. Not one thought against “and… I rule”. The extreme pride from finishing that damn race has self-approval running all through my veins. I will extrapolate on how wonderful I feel from this accomplishment at another time, since it is still sinking in.

I am excited about this diet – now, you may be wondering “dieting, annelies, really? You don’t need to. They don’t work. These diets are so against all sensible eating habits and its bad”. Here are my responses, in order: “I know I don’t need to. I’m not doing it to lose weight cuz there’s no weight I need to lose. I am, however, FASCINATED with structured diets. I can’t figure out what works for me if I don’t try different combinations. The direct relationship between food and performance and energy and happiness is worth experimentation to me, and since I know what is good and what is bad, it is a calculated risk.” I am excited. Lots of protein. Lots of vegetables. Quite the opposite from my vegan experiment a few years ago. Even though I felt the best while vegan, it was so much energy going into figuring out what I was going to eat that it became unrealistic in a world where I was working 70+ hours a week. Someday I would love to reconsider it, but I don’t believe the boyfriend would go for it. Also, I think eating locally and more farm-based is healthier anyway.

Whatevs. Off to Florida this weekend for a “vacation from my vacation” which is greatly needed. The European adventure certainly was NOT relaxing. But a wedding and a sand and sun and warmth and family is AWESOME. I will cry a lot. I cry at weddings. I also cry a lot when I’m with the boyfriends’ family because they are so awesome and happy and I get overwhelmed with happy. Is that weird?

Monday, April 19, 2010

I'm Back

A few of my favorite things from the past two weeks:

- Running, and wanting to run more
- Paris, in the springtime, with my boyfriend
- Wine
- Delta NOT LOSING my bag (JK they totally did. it was awful)
- Getting grounded in Amsterdam (JK about that too. We were the last plane out before the volcano grounded everyone)
- SUN
- CROQUET
- MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS
- the prospect of grocery shopping
- handstands
- the prospect of more yoga
- Rumors (Apparently my boyfriend and I are married. Did you know this? Apparently the wedding was awesome. Elvis showed up. And clowns. Apparently you were there and had a great time.)
- New babies - congrats John and Zach!
- Crossing a bazillion things off my bucket list
- the fact that I leave AGAIN for florida in FOUR DAYS = MORE SUN
- over 340 posts in my google reader to weed through. And its 2:15 and I finished that hours ago
- the gigantic cheesecake plate s. and i bought in order to watch the "16 and pregnant" marathon yesterday
- NOT having a hangover anymore
- my plants

And much more.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Revelations

So I did some research - blogs and asking friends, you know, hard core academic research - about this depression I've been in and yeah.. it's totally normal. Apparently, all the positive chemicals and hormones that are released during my long runs STOP once I am no longer running long runs, such as, like, when I'm tapering. You know, similar to the past few weeks. So without these chemicals and hormones, my body thinks I'm depressed. SO I get angsty and annoying and people can't stand me and I get terribly unhappy. You know, like I have been the past few weeks, when, you know, I've been tapering.

Duh.

Note: They do not think to warn you about this in your training plans or blogs.
Second Note: Knowing this, makes it so much EFFING easier.
Third Note: WHy is it 91 degrees at the beginning of April? WHY???

Also, just a heads up for all you who will see me in the next few weeks that haven't in, like, forever - a few changes so you can't say I didn't warn you. I have a new tattoo. I dyed my hair dark red/brown. I lost half a dress size (that's debatable)in weight. Also, I am happy-looking. Because I am happy.

I leave tomorrow, so next blog post will be all about this:
Running a marathon
Paris in April
April in Paris
Eating in Paris
Seeing good old friends
Loving my boyfriend
Loving my boyfriend's birthday
The fact that literally 20% of my vacation will be spent INSIDE A GODDAMN PLANE
Being sore after a marathon
Drinking wine after a marathon
Drinking wine in Paris
Loving drinking wine with my boyfriend in Paris after a marathon
Get the drift?

Friday, April 2, 2010

I am very upset

I discovered a new favorite show. It is with the actor that now plays Owen on Grey's Anatomy. It is called "Journeyman". It is like a modern and less funny Quantum Leap, which is my all-time favorite show after the Muppet Show. I found it on Hulu and watched it all week. All 13 shows. And I finished the 13th this morning. It was made in 2007. There are no more of them.

I am very upset.
:-(