Thursday, January 28, 2010

A summary...

... of most of my recent posts:

COMPLAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


that is all. now you don't have to read beyond this! See, I saved you some time!

Radiator Issues

I went to bed early last night. Insanely early. 9-o'clock early. To read, to ensure a good night's sleep. I was going to wake up and run to work again.

But I have a problem. A serious problem. Our radiator's are messed up. I think.
At least, they are set so that my room is FREEZING right when I go to sleep, at around 9-10, and BOILING HOT to the point of severe dehydration from sweating on my part, by the time I wake up. So I cannot sleep through the night. Ever. Because by the time I fall asleep all warm from blankets, I wake up to throw them off. And then I get chilly. And on it goes. I wake up at least four times a night. This is worse than the samba music from cars at the stop lights! And if I use fewer blankets to fall asleep, then I can't sleep - because i'm FREEZING.

What do I do?
The end of this story is that I did not run today. My back hurts. Yesterday I was going to write a nice post about how I felt like a runner and powerful, but today I just feel like I need a shower and a good hour of crunches.

And maybe a few good nights of sleep.

Gulags

I have been meaning to write something about this for a while now.
I am currently reading Solzhenitsyn’s (and yes I had to pull out the book again to figure out how to spell it) “The Gulag Archipelago” about the horrid and appalling conditions of prisoners during Stalin’s rule. Russians lived in absolute and utter assurance that they would get arrested and thrown in prison for even THINKING about the concept of dissention, or thinking about knowing someone who was thinking about the concept of dissention. I exaggerate not at all.

The prisons were horrific and the prisoners starved, tormented, tortured, kept without sleep, and away from any bathrooms for years before being sent to prison camps in the vast snowy wasteland of god-knows-where.

I read this on the metro in the mornings, and when I sit waiting when the train cars break down and they have to unload us, hundreds on a platform, before squishing us all back in to the car for it only to be stopped a few minutes later. I read this before I put it down to exit onto the platform in lines and wait on the escalator in lines to go wait at a stoplight in bunches to go into one of a million buildings with a million other people and sit down at my desk for eight hours and change.

This, is a blessing, I think to myself as I read the utter oppression from this author’s pages, I am warm and fed and capable and free. And then I stop for a minute at this thought of “free”. Because, truly, I can sit and type this out at work and I can read this book and I can disagree and choose NOT to watch the State of the Union Address because the clapping hurts my ears.

And some days, I just feel like I’m waiting for to be let free.

This comes to mind right now because I am ready to cry. I am being called constantly by a company we work with regarding a registration for another company we both manage. Except we don't manage this company - the other company does. We DO NOT MANAGE THIS COMPANY that is having problems. Yet, I am being demanded to solve the problem, as if the problem was my fault. I am getting disdainfully-voiced phone calls, and one step after another is coming back to me as if I had forgotten it like a child. But really... it is not my responsibility. Solving this problem just is not a part of my job. But I must solve it like it is no problem at all. And that is what I will do.

I have another problem at the same time. This too is not my fault. It is the bank's fault. And the bank is the only one that can solve it. But if our transaction does not go through it is my fault.

I hate this.
I just want a sofa and a cuddle and a martini. Fortunately, I am in naptown tonight visiting a dear friend at the old HB's. Only to drive back again tonight because my usual lodging is closed for service until next monday. Actually, i could still go use the room I guess. But that's just a little creepy.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

LD Revisited

I ran across the concept of “lifestyle design” again today – as I do repeatedly, but this time in a rather interest outlook. The blogs I read were more of a backlash at what has become known as LD, or more particularly, Ferriss’ LD (Tim Ferriss, the author of “The Four Hour Work Week” (FHWW), spawned the term and the movement of people quitting their jobs to become “location independent”). I wrote a post on this a few months back (and, as I know no web tech, and this is a minimal-tech blog, go look it up for yourself because there will be no trackbacks), in rather a similar attitude. This attitude is one of skepticism of the longevity, of the propriety to society, of authenticity.

Why am I speaking of it again? Because it has prompted a few more thoughts, clearly. I do still respect the particular concept as bringing to light the individual power we all have over our lives and lifestyles, although I agree that the location-independent, freelance web designer and/or company owner concept is becoming outdated. As one blogger put it, it is the “expat lifestyle” by a different name. But these conversations revolve around the nuggets of lifestyle design that is important – the questions of what ARE important enough in our lives to organize everything around?

To begin asking questions, we must find the right questions to ask first.
It is not enough to ask simply “where do I like to be” “what do I like doing” and “what am I good at”, although those are good questions, because when one is designing their lives they must think about the future as well. It is no coincidence that the majority of “Lifestyle Designers” are single and childless. It is not a sustainable practice for the majority of families with this inclination (note – majority, as I have run across several wonderful and enviable families that are doing just this adventure of travel and work who are not gypsies). Simply the ones our parents, or their parents would say is “thinking about the future”, because, honestly, that’s all it is.

Some of these larger questions may be – “what is the most important part of a life I want to have lived?” , or a question that was asked me on a school retreat once “what do I want to be known for?”, even “what are the qualities I want to manifest in my life”. And once some of these larger, core questions are answered the rest may become clear. I want to be, for example, a good wife and mother, to have a happy family with strong children, to live simply. When I see this life, as I do because I am a visual learner more than I can describe it, I see a garden, animals, fresh bread – all much like the life my mother created for me when I was very very small on the farm. I feel the tug of land like Vermont when I walk outside in the day, and I think of a place like Ellensburg Washington where our friend J grew up – which was stifling to his adolescence to be sure – but beautiful, rich, and close enough to a major city to spend the weekend. Perhaps a bit closer to the city I would live, but a place where wanderlusting mountain warriors reside because they lose themselves in the mountains for weeks at time is utterly appealing.

However, I know I require the knowledge of exposure before I can squeeze all the benefits out of a settled existence, and I am young enough to feel adventure in my veins. I keep recalling TS Eliott’s essays from his farm and how exotic and beautiful the “regular” world can be when seen in the light of experience. This writing, too, calls me, as I cannot escape the ease of writing about what makes one happy.

Everything else will come in to place if I focus on enriching my life, providing my future with the required nourishment of wisdom and patience, (blech I sound boring) but also keeping in mind that if I want to send my kids to college, spending all my money in Morocco probably won't cut it.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Warning

I have recently discovered that people read this thing. These are my thoughts:
(Really? Why?)
(Oh.. I’m sorry)
(Why do I write such SHIT if that’s true?)
(Nope! How could they?)
Etc.

Basically because I realized that I sound like, well, a superficial girl who is totally obsessed with her boyfriend.

Well, that’s true.
I write on here basically all that I think about in life. And all that I thought about in college (no wonder I didn’t do so well in seminar). And nothing else. Ever.

Even if that were true you would never know it because I write about real serious subjects in my paper journals – think about it – sometimes perchance I have a thought with substance! I write poetry! I find science a fantastic hobby! I …. Love my friends!

This, I guess, is just a byline warning you that if you are looking for my a full philosophical discourse on, say, the American Dream you won’t find that here.

OK so sometimes you will. But not often.

In other news – I found this article today: http://www.livingcraigslist.com/. It’s a blog about a dude who is living entirely off craigslist. He has $2500 and has a number of rules for his experiment that involve things like – not befriending anyone unless it was initiated electronically – not living with anyone he knew previously for more than a week in a new city – finding all jobs and activities on craigslist.

My first reaction was: Cool!. And the more I thought about it, the more my reaction became: SO WHAT? I DO THAT TOO!. Think about it: I’ve acquired my last two jobs, my last two places of residences, and a bunch of activities off craigslist. Now I’m selling my car on it too. However, we all know that I am a huge fan of life experiments and this is one I will convince myself in the moment that I will follow but probably won’t anyway.

Running... I guess so?

Running Update: (as if you still cared) (whatever)

I finally went on my first run after the 15 miler on Sunday from the sail loft - a 5 mile capped by a mile walk with coffee. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! I was FLYING I was running so quickly! I forgot, in the three hour run previous, what it felt like to feel strong and fast and capable. This is why I love running. Because I can conquer my failing body for a few minutes. I realized I had been intimidated by the prospect of running and that was why it took me almost a week to get up again - intimidated by the miles, by the idea that running is painful. The miles are unimportant as long as I get out there, and it is not always painful.

Therefore, I did a good set of weights last night and cooked up a mad saag paneer in the fly, and, that's right, finally ran to work this morning. I left a little before 7, and walked INTO THE OFFICE at 8:08. HOLY TIME BATMAN! Thats 6.5 miles in about 70 minutes! Which, true, is about 11 minute a mile, but it's great time for my TINY little dwarf legs! So, I'm getting stronger! And the run down 16th street is much safer than GA Ave, and I got in in enough time to go grab a latte as a protein refresher (side note - i walked an extra block to Caribou because it's not Starbucks, and THEY DO NOT CARRY WHOLE MILK!!! WTF these caps are for outrage, not excitement. I want my whole milk and super delicious healthy fats! I've earned it! Whatever). This will happen again. Probably on Thursday.

The half marathon is this Saturday. It's funny, because running the last one was such a huge accomplishment for me - I had the concept of a half all worked up in my head for this past October, and then I decided on the fly to run it in May instead, and did it well, and I realized that I really could put my body through some stupid shit if I wanted to and feel good about it. And this one, well, I guess I'll remember to show up! No, I'm actually excited for it, but don't think I'll go for any goals. Maybe though? Should I try to beat my time? I wonder if I could....

(It's this kind of thinking that gets me in trouble)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Ads



ADVENTURE

My friends
This weekend, my life took a turn for the AWESOME.
Let me explain.

First of all, if it was apparent in any way when I wrote last week, last weekend with the boy was tense. This weekend, however, I fell in love with him ALL OVER AGAIN. From the long walk on Friday and a drink at the bar, to the HUGE ADVENTURE (to be explained further) on Saturday, and the complete reinforcement of everything I love about him. Honestly, everything was perfect as soon as I pulled into his house MASSIVE ANXIOUS MESS and just the sight of him made me feel as if I had just spent a day at the spa.

Anyway, the adventure:
I decided that we needed one. And that it involved being outside of Maryland. So we thought that this past Sat. we would take a drive up to a Delaware beach and wander in the winter sand. Perfect.

So, in his bored internet musings, the boy found a deal in Milford that we had to go look at. 1975 BMW 2002 that needed restoring. A pair of them. They are now ours. Or, to be precise, his until I pay him the WHOPPING $900 for the manual clutch car. This is our new project. We will restore them together, rebuild the engine, and it will be awesome. Times a gazillion. And yes, I will blog about it – but at a different blog we have yet to set up. The boy is in Chicago for the week, so when he gets back we will bring the vehicles down and get to work. They are selling on the internet for thousands of dollars in their current condition, and once we finish they will be worth thousands more.

The best part, is that I get to learn about engines. Which, is awesome. I have always wanted to be able to know every inch of a car’s engine, and let me tell you, I will never again need a mechanic for this car. 

If you have any of the millions of possible questions about this situation, feel free to post it. Here is a picture of a restored 2002:

Friday, January 22, 2010

bedding

In my frantic re-organizing of my room last night, I realized just how shabby my linens are. So I decided to do a little window shopping online today. Keeping in mind that I LOVE soft sheets, and SIMPLE colors and CHEAP things, I looked around.

Once getting around a bit I realized – my duvet covers are both around six years old or more! Yes, I have two feather duvets. One is a queen and one is a full size. I love comfort. So I could replace those too! I found some wonderful patterns, and saw all the more why I like simple things.

Then I got a great idea – I have been planning on dying my curtains anyway, so I can find white covers and HAND PAINT THEM… I mean, people are selling their hand painted patterns on etsy, and I don’t have to try to sell mine. I could just, you know, do it how I want it.

That being said, here are a bunch of links for what I have found that I like so far:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39035073&ref=sr_gallery_10&&ga_search_query=queen+bedding&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37043526&ref=sr_gallery_21&&ga_search_query=queen++and+king+bedding&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=3&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title (which I would so BUY if the boy and I didn’t sleep on the opposite sides of the bed as these pillows).

http://www.jonathanadler.com/shop/home.php?cat=519

http://www.jonathanadler.com/shop/product.php?productid=17982&cat=517&page=1&initial=6070

http://amenityhome.com/organic-bedding/fern-cream-amber-br-organic-duvet-cover.html

http://amenityhome.com/organic-bedding/cream-cocoa-organic-br-bloom-duvet-cover.html

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ny/at-email/matteo-the-most-luxurious-bedding-ive-found-email-12308-041503

https://www.unisonhome.com/index_secure.php

http://www.westelm.com/products/b500/?pkey=csheet-sets (I may buy these)

also, I kind of love this bed: http://www.designpublic.com/shop/blu-dot/5185 and will probably buy the cheap ikea version and paint it JUST THAT COLOR BLUE

http://www.garnethill.com/jump.jsp?itemID=6979&itemType=PRODUCT&path=1%2C2%2C5%2C5459%2C5482&iProductID=6979

http://www.garnethill.com/jump.jsp?itemID=5627&itemType=PRODUCT&path=1%2C2%2C5%2C9017%2C9028&iProductID=5627

http://www.designpublic.com/shop/dwellstudio/4238

http://www.designpublic.com/shop/dwellstudio/5983

http://www.designpublic.com/shop/inhabit/6670

http://www.designpublic.com/shop/sanford-burrows/12056

http://www.designpublic.com/shop/amenity/6402



sorry – this list is mostly for my own personal reference.
I know you don’t care that much!

Today It is Raining

Friends
Yesterday I went home and had one of those moments of “okay, so the world SUCKS today because you are PMSing. CHANGE IT”. So I changed my room around. A lot. So the bed is still there and the side trunk but everything else is changed – as in, moved in to the closet. The goal was to get as little actual possessions in my sleeping space as possible. Unfortunately, this led to me waking up in that perfectly comfortable state where the very last thing you want to do is get up into the sleety rain. Also… I need new linens. FYI.

To assuade some of your worries about my “de-carbing” comment previously, I will explain. I know my nutrition! There is no way of getting around carbs without a full meat diet. What I intent to do is eat in a way that I have discovered is the healthiest for me – a way that is modeled (note modeled, not copied) after my little diabetic friend’s diet. What this means, is to eat protein with every carb, in such a way that is, if you were putting things on a point system, “cancelling out” the carbs because the protein helps burn it TO THE RIGHT PLACES. This means instead of not eating any bread, eating it with peanut butter. Instead of not eating any grains like oatmeal, eating it with a side of eggs. I put almond slivers on my fruit salad this morning.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

January is hard

Look! I’m back to the several-posts a day phase!
My main thought today is: January is hard. It is a hard fricken month. It is very dark. And Cold. And stupid stores come out with their Resort lines making us all feel like we need to be in some tropical place with significantly less poundage and more tan. Which, is not very smart right after all the candy and booze of the holidays and all the extra blankets we were given and the fact that its DARK and COLD outside. So, no wonder I am grumpy.

A few more things I thought of today:

My hair- I decided last night that I feel prettier with my hair longer. However, today I think it is rather nice. Perhaps it is a division – I think I look prettier with longer hair when I am wearing my glasses, but shorter without them. It doesn’t really matter, as I will grow it out and decide which length is best. Perhaps I just needed to shower to feel prettier.

Whether I am an abstainer or not – This whole concept is derived from something I read on the Happiness Project blog, and has to do with whether you are more successful with things like diet or habits if you go all or nothing, or whether you are better with small rules. As in – I can allow myself one beer a night but no more and I am successful with moderate drinking, vs. even one beer a night throws me a loop and I can’t stop (ok maybe beer is a bad example since it has the hint of alcoholics), so… exercise. An abstainer is best if she says “I will exercise one hour every day” and sticks to it, as opposed to someone who is not who says “I will exercise seven hours a week” and does more or less seven hours at random times that fit into her schedule. Both get the same amount of exercise in, but it is the “every day” aspect that changes the level of ability to commit. I feel like I am not an abstainer with exercise, as I really do it best when I say “I will get 25 miles in this week and one yoga set and one strength set” and do it when I can work it in based on energy levels, as opposed to the always failing “I will run every morning” routine. Yet, when it comes to food, it is much easier for me to say “I don’t eat this at all” than to say “sometimes”. I got thinking about this because of the roommate’s de-carbing experiment that I may introduce for a few weeks to see how I feel. This whole two months countdown until bathing suit season thing is freaking me out.

My food – see above. Also, this morning I made my favorite smoothie (fruit juice, banana, flax seeds, spinach, peanut butter- seriously it tastes like peanut butter) but did not have enough fruit juice or fruit in it so I could smell and chew the spinach and that is a deal breaker – couldn’t eat it! It was a shame. So I brought some oatmeal in to work and a giant salad that ended up being too big for the bowl so I split it in half and will have the other half for lunch tomorrow. Also, the soup I made last night was fantastic.

Running – the experiment to run home from work last week worked pretty well, except I wasn’t entirely comfortable running in the dark through some of the neighborhoods. I originally thought I could run home down 16th street, which is a business district all the way through, and avoid all of that, but when I went to plan my route I couldn’t find it. Well, I thought about it some more and I actually can do that. So I am trying that way today and am planning on running in to work tomorrow the same way (if I had forethought I would have brought some more clothes, but it seems as if I will wear the same thing to work tomorrow that I am wearing today. Whatevs. Nobody will notice that’s for sure.).

The humidity in my room – This is, honestly, the first thing I think of when I wake up. Because my room is freezing when I go to bed, but by the time I wake up the radiator has been on for a while and it is DRY as a dessert and HOT AS BALLS to the point where I am sleeping poorly because I wake up to throw off my many blankets and sweat everything out and have such dry skin it’s gross. So I think I’ll start keeping a bucket of water in the room and see if that helps anything.

The car- I should be picking it up tomorrow. I figured out that if I get it detailed and the oil changed this weekend, I can park it and take off the tags and cancel my insurance next week and that will save me a few hundred dollars right there. I also think that I may be able to get away with paying the balance of my loan right away when I find someone who wants to buy the freakin car instead of taking out a personal loan for the $1500 or so that will be remaining because either I can borrow some money from the bro (I hope) or I can make it happen around when I get a paycheck and just, kind of give them all I have because I’ll save it back the next month. I am really excited. I think I’ll be able to retire this debt by March, pay for France with the money I save the next month, and then start putting a whole lot of cash in the bank. To save.

Which brings me to the concepts that today starts a bunch of more-or-less temporary principles (definitely more temporary, for like, two months):
- I WILL NOT spend money on booze
- I WILL limit my carb intake to one meal a day (I’m already doing this, but if I make it a principle I am more likely to think about it and do it right)
- I WILL run four days a week and get a yoga and a strength session in.
- I WILL try to have more GREEN in my room (I do LOVE plants)
- I WILL NOT worry about my future (I don’t anyway, but this way I’ll be less preoccupied)
- I WILL NOT compare my life to my friends’ who are a) overseas b) engaged c) have awesome jobs.

Ta-Da!
QED.

Updates on the Operation

I have been paying more attention to certain things since starting Operation: Make Myself More Beautifuller. One, is that I like being clean (I know!). Not only that, but being clean often comes with a greater feeling of beauty (I know!) (L aren’t you proud?). However, the desire to be clean and the actual feeling of beauty themselves also decrease in necessity as I feel grosser, i.e. the longer the interval between workouts/movement (I say workout/movement because sometimes a simple yoga practice, or a long walk, or a few weight sets do the trick, other times it’s a six mile run or a three hour vinyasa class is necessary). However, my ability to stay consistent in a workout practice is …. Not great. I am the MASTER at excusing myself from anything that takes great effort (which, my mother would claim is not true, and maybe even my roommate, but I beg to differ. Maybe it’s just the concept of ‘great effort’ that we differ on).

I would also like to note, that in the process of writing this post, I figured out that I could lower my chair to facilitate a) my feet touching the ground (yes, I have worked here about 7 months and my feet have never touched the ground in my work chair) b) a more ergonomic view of the computer screen c) better posture d) a sense that the world is still TOO BIG for me e) another reminder of just how small I am (which I have become very good at both ignoring, and getting other people to ignore too).

Now, back to brass tacks. I spent another night with a wine bottle last night because I was PMSing and realized that I hated the world, also that I have become so tense and uptight that my shoulders are constantly rounded forward and I am in DIRE need of a shoulder-opening yoga class, because it is a self-perpetuating problem. So, the wine was less effective than in past evenings (thank god) and quite tasty with the fantabulous tomato soup I cooked up and ate with cheese and a chipotle-chedder-sausage. I know, I’m good sometimes. And, I noticed something this morning as, miraculously, there was no effect leftover and I woke up rested and not terribly hungry and pretty happy. That, I really like not being drunk. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t like drinking, but I think the novelty of too much drink is running thin. Finally. Now the key I think will be to remind myself every time I think that drinking a bottle of wine during the week is a good idea that I really prefer not to, and more than that I thoroughly enjoy the feeling of being movable and healthy and the way I feel when I eat VEGETABLES and MOVE and SEE BEAUTIFUL THINGS (the not making an ass out of myself thing helps too). However, I am sure I will continue to have a drink or two. Which I do enjoy. However, the savoring of said drinks shall be highly increased.

So April will be a big month – marathon, trip to Europe, trip to Florida for boy’s cousin’s wedding – with lots of, umm… physical exposing in the more appropriate kind going on. So that means I really do have TWO MONTHS to get into PRIME shape. Yet ANOTHER reason to not drink a bottle of wine at night by myself? Yes. I’ve been doing pretty good otherwise. I just have to be BETTER about the running, and the twice-weekly strength sessions. I get so EXHAUSTED by the concepts though. I am finicky, if I think I’m too tired I just won’t do it. Is that bad?

Also, sorry about the use of so much caps today. It’s just how I feel.

Adventures

Do you have any extra time? I bet you say you don’t but I also bet you’ll want to make some.. just a few minutes.. .to poke around these links:

http://exilelifestyle.com/ (I can’t decide if I like this guy. I harbor lots of resentment for him. Not sure why).
http://www.technomadia.com/2010/01/a-buck-a-mile/

I sent these to the boy yesterday after a few conversations we had.
One was about how easier it is to get by in the world when you are really really good looking.
Another was about the differing quality of experiences you get when you spend different amounts of time in different places, i.e. it takes about two months to get acquainted with a new place or town because you have to feel a) safe, b) find where everything you need is (like the grocery store or the hardware store etc), and c) you’re nervous and excited and all of these things run together to give you a slightly less approachable aura in a new place.

However, the concept of traveling around and doing seasonal work and living out of a camper van – or even a regular van – is becoming more and more attractive to me. You work the jobs you want to do – lift operator, retail, ranch hand, barista, farmer, brewer, baker, candlestick maker, etc. – to learn about things like, skiing and different kinds of products and coffee and wine and growing things and horses and animals etc. You see all the places you want to see. You are in control of when and where and how long. Sure, there is risk involved, but the satisfaction of being in control of all of the above is a large payout, as compared to the risk of your SOUL DYING from some SOUL SUCKING desk job where everything is taken care of for you.

So.. I’m leaning towards a lifestyle like this for our next adventure. What do you think?

Decorating Thoughts

I am determined to put more effort into things. Like, for example, my living space. I spend a great deal of time looking at design blogs, and love them. So as a start I am making a list of all the elements that inspire me, make me long for a house to fully design, and/or that I think is simply beautiful or fun.
- clean, simple spaces/ minimalism
- plants
- neutrals with splashes of color
- chandeliers or touches of luxury
- the idea of chalkboard paint
- well-organized chotchkies
- wide open spaces (cue the Dixie chicks)
- fireplaces
- lots of windows
- organic, industrial, and found materials (concrete, sod, siding from an old school bus, etc.)
- anything re-used in a new way


Things I don’t like in decorating:
- monochromatic rooms
- prints of flowers
- TOO MUCH of anything
- pink


Un/Fortunately there are a lot more things I like than don’t like. Which means I must gets on that whole tunr-my-shelves-into-a-giant-terrarium-concept I’ve been working on. Oh, and frame some GD Pictures. Etc. Also, the use of burnt milk crates as a shelving unit, while it works, it’s not so attractive.
However I am slightly worried that the space constraint OF MY LIFE is inhibiting my desire to DO ANYTHING about making a place prettier. It’s so much effort. And scrounging. And it’s not warm enough yet to paint furniture (boo). I shall update you if I decide to do anything else with all of these thoughts.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

January Again

So, I have not been updating as frequently - what is wrong, you ask?
Nothing really. I am just preferring to troll the interwubs for forest service jobs or lackey positions for arboretums in colorado than type out the NOTHING that I have to updated you on.

However, I do have one piece of news to forward on to your loyal ears: yesterday's long run.
It.
Was.
Long.

Fifteen miles of long. However, I started walking the last mile because my abs were stitching so I accomplished 14 miles in 3 hours. Which is a hell of an accomplishment that left me unable to walk until I sat for five minutes in a freezing bath (think of how miserable this sounds - its January, dinnertime, and I'm sitting in a freezing tub watching the beginning of a very gray german movie our friend B got me for my birthday. and a warm beer. which I couldn't pick up because I was too cold). Anyhoodle, one would think I would go right to sleep after? I felt like I did. Except I couldn't. Sleep. At all... weird. I think I had a much longer recovery time than I have experienced before and my heart rate would not slow down. Today, on the other hand, I feel file. I was more sore in my legs after the hamstring opening class I did with Johanna this weekend than after this run. Perhaps it was the WICKEDLY SLOW trotting pace I kept. Whatevs. I got to listen to THREE whole New Yorker Fiction podcasts before I went crazy. Also I tried carrying a water bottle (well... electrolyte-infused flavored water, which is all they had at the giant) and some carbohydrate infused fruit snacks that, not-so-weirdly, actually made a huge difference in my stamina.

Rest assured, that after I have a wonderful cocktail (or three) with my long-lost bud from elementary/middle school (so excited!) this evening, I will fall asleep. Quickly. After reading Cook's Illustrated and the Gulag Archipelago on the subway home.

In other news... my mother dropped off my car to get fixed at the body shop today! AND I listed the car on craigslist (I don't believe I will get any hits right now, but it is listed! And I put the exorbitant price up [$11,000] with an OBO to show that really - I dont' expect you to buy it for that much!) We shall see. I am TWO steps closer to being CARLESS and MONEYED!!!

Friday, January 15, 2010

E-bay Wins

At the risk of people hacking into my e-bay account, I am showing you what I have ventured to purchase in the last day:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItemVersion&item=230422213882&view=all&tid=0
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItemVersion&item=180454648077&view=all&tid=0
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItemVersion&item=140373309791&view=all&tid=0

I think these are great wins for me :-)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Operation: Make Myself More Beautifuler

So, after several elements in my life have converged into one, I have made a grand decision. I am planning on fully utilizing all the great influences around me and becoming a better person – superficially. While I have spent a great deal of time in the past six years working towards a stronger and more accepting and solid inner self, I have not spent really much effort improving the exterior self since I worked at J.Crew.

L from Florida and S from Carolina, you have tipped the scales in this favor. Now, not only will I be showering with more frequency, washing my hair more than once a week, and using deodorant at all times (I know, right?!), I will also take other steps that will, indeed, impress you.

Now, in order to fully understand why I am undertaking Operation: Make Myself More Beautifuller, I will explain in loose and not-great-detail. First off, L has fantastic style, and every time she visits she inspires me to spend time finding quality pieces that fit well, which I do hold as an important tenet in one’s life. Therefore, I have been perusing e-bay (I am an e-bay master) and am finding great pieces. Now, I know it is impossible to see if anything fits well when you buy it online, but sometimes it is worth the chance (Ann Taylor coral cardigan for $6 after shipping – certainly!). I will also be convincing my roommate to attend thrift shops and TJMax with me to make sure other pieces fit well.

Second, S and L both spend a good deal of time finding the correct makeup. Which I never have. I also have a hard time with makeup because, well, I don’t really like myself with makeup on unless it’s a very special occasion. But it is growing on me, and I have not bought anything new in about five years, so it is time for some careful product research and purchasing.

Thirdly, I am running a marathon. Which means I am forced to increase my exercise, and am attempting to correspondingly decrease the few terrible things I eat so that by the time I run this damn thing, needless to say by, oh, crocquet or the summer, I will be lean and strong and pretty effing hot. That’s the goal anyway. My de-carbing roommate and I have already lost a few pounds this week, so if all goes well our goals just may be met!

Fourthly, I’m going to Paris for this marathon. Which means all of the above become ever more important with an impending trip to a style mecca with your photographer boyfriend. Also I am in desperate need of pretty underwear, another set of items I have not owned since high school.

So, as a roundup, I have already begun the journey to improve myself by:
Including great pieces in my wardrobe!
Exercise more, eat better!
Value the products I put on myself!
Find sexy underwear so I feel even less like a loaf!

Can you imagine me in a few months?! Nix that concept of the dirty hippy with baking-soda washed hair that smells and eats only leaves! Cue the well-groomed, styled and buff hippy who STILL eats only leaves (and wine)! Excited? I am!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Running Update

So... running to work last week did not happen because it snowed. BUT I kept my clothes here so that I can run in on Wed. (I drove in from annapolis today, and will do the same tomorrow... as I am lucky enough to meet up with all the wonderful women that I worked with at lululemon tonight) and I am SUPER excited.

Saturday I ran to my mom's.. which is an 8 mile run. I had to go to the ATM, which added another mile, and the direction I meant to take had a long stretch with ZERO sidewalk, which added a 1-1 1/2 mile detour. The whole 10 1/2 - 11 mile run took 140 minutes, which is RIGHT in the time zone I am comfortable with. However, I am hoping that the more I run to work and have longer runs, the faster I will be and I will finish the 26.2 in under 5 hours. But whatevs--- as long as I can still walk later I win in my book.

This run this weekend was FANTASTIC! By the 9th mile I felt the blisters, but soon after I definitely hit the runner's high and seriously did not want to stop. That was the most fun I had by myself in .. well.. I have fun by myself a lot but... it was damn fun. I read somewhere that the middle 10 miles of the marathon are the easiest running you can ever do and now I see what that could potentially mean. That leaves about... 6-8 miles of torture at the end, but an hour or so of hard running is neither scary nor new.

At this age already?

The sun shown pink on the white snowy lawns of my neighbors houses, the quiet that has permeated this winter remained. I stayed home today from the run to work I had planned because I have a penchant for falling (I am the universe’s practical joke) and hurting myself, and thought it best to go through a strength workout at home. The movement startled some weeks-dormant enzymes and I walked to the metro in a euphoric state of utter giddiness. Joy to the point of calling the boy to tell him I wanted to throw him a snowball. ...

I am having a difficult time writing about anything but deeply personal issues. A few days ago another schoolmate got engaged, and again I was upset. Not anger, just discontentment. And not for them, because they are wonderful together. I tried to figure out this upset and this is what it looked like:



Please forgive this basic online flowchart for a few flaws, namely, it is unorganized, the colors and sizes have no meaning, and it’s sloppy. Otherwise, you can see that basically I am in a tough spot. Patience is certainly not my greatest virtue. As my mom put it this weekend: I just want him around all the time.

In other news, I have decided I need to spend more time with my girlfriends. Because, well, I DO want to be around the boy all the time, and have been taking every opportunity. Which means I have been lagging in the girl-time, which is just as important. And what happens when I isolate myself from all my friends and I move with the boy and all I need is to get away from some testosterone for a little bit? I'd be screwed! Also, there will be plenty of time for his company.

However, it seems like, the only topic any of us girls has to talk about is marriage and weddings and engagements. WHICH DOESN'T HELP GET MY MIND OFF OF IT! I almost got sick in the car driving in to DC from nap-town today thinking about it. What about the rest of life? Isn't there cool shizzle going on that does NOT involve the word "forever"?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Will this make me run?

New years is a great opportunity to re-start.

However, I re-start a bazillion times a year.

Somehow I crave the safety of routine, yet have a) a terribly short attention span and therefore a propensity to get bored quite easily, and b) terrible habits.

I keep convincing myself that if I have the right habits, then the right routine will come and I will be safe and happy and satisfied and exactly the person I dream I can be.

Yet a lot of these wonderful habits I wish to acquire are either a) impossible to maintain at the same time, or b) against all elements of FUN.

I was quite excited about this new year, being as I love RESTARTS (they make me feel like I am trying more than I am because, if I really was trying all that hard, I would have landed one of these goshdarn healthy habits by now). BUT I have been down with a cold since Day 1 (well, day 2, day 1 was a hangover). SO I am a snotty, exhausted, itching-to-run mess.

But, I have not been hungry, nor craving caffeine, so apart from a semi-embarrassing drunken-text-episode (again) to the boy, I have been pretty good to myself with the sleeping, and eating spinach smoothies for breakfast and fruit all day long and the more sleeping. Not, however, with the push yourself until it hurts because you’re a hardass so run with a cold anyway that we’re all pretty used to seeing from me. Because, whenever I push myself like that, I end up with pneumonia, or bronchitis, or MRSA, or whatever (true stories). I can’t afford that this time. The marathon is all of 13 and a half weeks away. And I haven’t run in three. OOPS?

So, new plan. Today I brought a bunch of clothes in with me to work and my goal is to go home, do a long slow yoga session, eat some veggies, go to sleep, wake up, meditate, drink some coffee, and run to work.

Work is all of 6-7 miles from home, so if I leave at 7 am I will get a good run in and get to work in time to towel off (if I don’t find the shower, which I am presuming I won’t. They disappear whenever I look for them – not my fault!) and change before I am supposed to be sitting at my desk for the rest of the day. The advantages this has over the other three options (running at 6am before work, running directly from the office and then going home, or running once getting home) is that I will probably do it. It does not entail getting up at the buttcrack of dawn so I can eat and shower and get a measly little 3 mile run in. It does not entail wandering around at dark bumping into well-suited men getting drinks (I don’t mind that too much – the monuments at night are LOVELY). It does not entail the evaporation of any free time I would have. It also does not demand that I go to sleep at 9 pm. Nor does it demand any more time than I would have spent getting to work in the morning ANYWAY. AND I get to eat breakfast. Boo. Yah.

However this does take planning. Like bringing in clothes on Monday for the rest of the week. And if I forget a pair of underwear, then, well I’m screwed. It also has the potential for a hungry Annelies, as bringing food in is nixed – although I have found the answer for that too in a box of oatmeal and a bag of bananas that will be carted in on Monday along with the garments.
Anyhoodle we shall see. I’ll keep you posted.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Here is a “long” post on why I have not been blogging:

Friends visited in the past two weeks:
Lauren
Sophie
Brendan
Sean Penny + Torsten
Brie
Laurent
Shant
Alison Hauspurg + Travis
Friends of the Boy
Who am I forgetting?

Activities:
Eating
Drinking
Spending Money
Being Tired
Drinking

I am now one fat, tired, broke, and pretty blissful blogger.